It's too early!

Looks the build-up has decided to arrive early. The humidity has been getting higher all week. Not crazy high yet, just 60-70%, but I keep an eye on the Weather Station dooby-thing we have sitting on top of the TV and it is definitely rising. Very soon it will be up in the 90s and my glasses will start fogging up every time I walk outside.

I'm sure I must have done something to upset God/Gods/Karma, take your pick, why else would the worst season of the year in this hell hole come early? How can I make amends? I'm thinking of offering some corn, or my first born. Just kidding about the corn, i would never waste food.

Gray left for a course in Melbourne today so he will be enjoying a nice spring for the next two months whilst I lay comatose and pants-less in a pool of my own sweat on the lounge. I've seriously got to get to work on those sacrifices to appease the deities of your choice.

Dogs are evil

I love Steffi, I really do, but she does love to create mischief. She dug herself a great den out the front of the house so she can snuggle up in the cool earth. I'm sure it's lovely for her. What isn't lovely, however, was the reaction of the DHA inspector. Steffi is now working on how to pull up the chicken wire. We should just rename her Destructo and be done with it.

She is currently ignoring me completely as she tries in vain to get at the cats' food. Poor Abby, between Oscar eating everything in sight and Steffi's ongoing obsession with that yummy food on top of the freezer, I'm surprised she actually gets to eat on the odd ocassion.

To make me feel better Digger is cutely curled up on the lounge trying his hardest to get a little sleep.

Insulting Politicians

So yeah, I managed to offend a politician on Saturday. I'm somewhat proud, but also somewhat mortified. Politicians are used to being insulted, so it tkaes some work to offend them.

I was doing my usual election trick of steadfastly avoiding eye contact with all the crazy people handing out "How to Vote" cards out the front (this time donning sombreros WTF?). Turns out one of them was actually a candidate trying to greet me and my response was not "Hi", but "No". He was quite offended (although was sombrero-less). Maybe this will teach me to look at people before I'm openly hostile.

On a more ridiculous note, there were only two candidates in my election, so the how to vote cards were a rather large waste of paper. How else was I going to direct my preferences?

Voting day

Who do vote for in an election that you don't give a toss about?

Damn compulsory voting.

All the Fun of an Election Campaign...

So with only days before the Northern Territory election, which I'm sure has all of you on your the edge of your collective seats, I'd like to share with you some of favourite political chicanery from recent weeks:

1. Sticking an "L" plate over someones face. We must never elect anyone with no experience you see, although I'm a little stuck as to what we do when the incumbent finally croaks and we have nobody with experience left. I think I have the vapours.
2. The brilliant banner I saw slung up across the road from the service station while we were wrestling with the joys of renting a trailer just to get rid of the damned palm fronds (they are evil I tell you). I believe it read something like this "Honk! If you want safer schools and sustainable development." Now there's a call to arms that's up there with the whole I have a dream thing.
3. My local member seems to be having a barbecue in the park EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND. Where on earth is the man getting all the sausages from? Is he backed by the meat industry? Should I expect to see some men in blue aprons dancing past my window shortly? (On a side note, I did love those meat ads)
   
4. The candidate who lost his seat at the federal election and is now trying for this one. Like that annoying kid who wants an invite to your birthday party in primary school, he figures that if he just keeps bugging you, eventually you'll have to give in. To further my suspicions his slogan is "Dave's My Mate", I wonder if he just thinks we've got the really cool lolly bags with the sherbies and banana lollies

I have come to be extremely glad for a three week election campaign, although it has reduced the amount of free comedy for me, at least I don't have to pretend I care for very long.