I thought I'd post my twelve favourite things about Christmas in honour of the 12 Days of Christmas. However, I got a little sidetracked so this is somewhat late.
1. Christmas shopping. I know that sounds mildly insane, but I actually enjoy it. I love buying people gifts, of course the shopping centres are pure madness. I just sit down and have a coffee if it all gets too much.
2. The excuse to eat all the seafood my body can handle. One moment, just have to wipe the drool off the keyboard there.
3. Christmas is the one day of the year where I can spend hours eating and watching TV without that pesky feeling that I really should be doing something more productive.
4. Bad Christmas specials. Pay TV really cranks it up a notch. Gray and I have been watching an increasingly crappy series of Christmas Documentaries on the Travel Channel this week. Fantastic.
5. Putting the decorations UP.
6. Rolling around on the lounge after lunch clutching my stomach and groaning.
7. Hard sauce. Sure it's about 98% fat, but it is delicious.
8. The glut of junk mail we get at this time of year. I do love a good catalogue.
9. Seeing all my family which is fantastic and I can't wait to get to Sydney on Sunday.
10. Christmas Cracker Hats
11. Christmas Cracker Jokes
12. Stupid headwear- Santa hats, reindeer antlers and the rather fetching sparkly red cowboy hat with fluffy white trim I saw at the discount shop yesterday.
I'm now officially full of festive cheer.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Queen Lumpovina of the Grass Seeds
This week Gray and myself received a fabulous Christmas present. A $700 vet bill. Steffi's unceasing desire to chew everything in sight has finally backfired.
On Saturday morning I noticed a rather large lump on the side of her head. She wasn't howling in pain or sleeping any more than her usual 16 hours a day so we thought it'd be safe to take her to the vet on Monday. It was safe to take her to the vet on Monday. Expensive, but safe. Turns out Ol' Chompy had managed to get a grass seed into a cut, which had then turned into an abscess and then become fibrous. She had her lumpectomy yesterday and is now trotting around the house crashing into everything courtesy of the plastic collar to stop her scratching the stitches.
I know that, in theory anyway, it's wrong to laugh at someone in pain. I just can't help myself though. She is getting the collar caught on absolutely everything, including my legs. Every time she tries to lick my legs I get more contact with the plastic than with her tongue. Ont eh upside, we can't lose her. All we have to do is listen for the crashing sounds.
On Saturday morning I noticed a rather large lump on the side of her head. She wasn't howling in pain or sleeping any more than her usual 16 hours a day so we thought it'd be safe to take her to the vet on Monday. It was safe to take her to the vet on Monday. Expensive, but safe. Turns out Ol' Chompy had managed to get a grass seed into a cut, which had then turned into an abscess and then become fibrous. She had her lumpectomy yesterday and is now trotting around the house crashing into everything courtesy of the plastic collar to stop her scratching the stitches.
I know that, in theory anyway, it's wrong to laugh at someone in pain. I just can't help myself though. She is getting the collar caught on absolutely everything, including my legs. Every time she tries to lick my legs I get more contact with the plastic than with her tongue. Ont eh upside, we can't lose her. All we have to do is listen for the crashing sounds.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Kids Today
I know I'm going to sound like a grumpy old fart here, but I really don't get kids sometimes.
How is a fart funny? Did I ever laugh when someone let one rip? I don't remember finding it funny, but I guess I must have. The kids actually wanted me to kick someone out for being gassy yesterday. I figured that as a I can't punish them for breathing, I can't really eject them for popping a few smelly ones.
Things I also don't see the entertainment value in:
1. Breaking pencils
2. Throwing pencils
3. Throwing paper
4. Throwing bags
5. Making humming noises that annoy the other students more than the teacher
6. Calling everyone and everything in sight "so gay"
7. Creating your own tag - hours of fun for all budding criminals
8. Staring into space instead of doing the "boring" work
9. Not being able to read because you spend every lesson staring into space
10. Banging on walls
Call me a doddering old fool, but I just don't get it. Now I'm off to place my order for a hotted up, neon green Zimmer frame. If I'm going to get all old and cranky, I'm damn well going to do it in style!
How is a fart funny? Did I ever laugh when someone let one rip? I don't remember finding it funny, but I guess I must have. The kids actually wanted me to kick someone out for being gassy yesterday. I figured that as a I can't punish them for breathing, I can't really eject them for popping a few smelly ones.
Things I also don't see the entertainment value in:
1. Breaking pencils
2. Throwing pencils
3. Throwing paper
4. Throwing bags
5. Making humming noises that annoy the other students more than the teacher
6. Calling everyone and everything in sight "so gay"
7. Creating your own tag - hours of fun for all budding criminals
8. Staring into space instead of doing the "boring" work
9. Not being able to read because you spend every lesson staring into space
10. Banging on walls
Call me a doddering old fool, but I just don't get it. Now I'm off to place my order for a hotted up, neon green Zimmer frame. If I'm going to get all old and cranky, I'm damn well going to do it in style!
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